* * *

She didn’t look at me when I got in the car. Her gaze was on her hands clasped together in her lap. For a minute we just sat there, and for once I wasn’t the one going crazy. Marti was waiting for me to speak, and I was waiting for just the right words to come. Funny thing about moments like that. If you practice the words ahead of time, you’ll forget them and no other words will ever be as good as the first ones were. So I waited, keeping my mind clear, and at just the right moment, the perfect words bubbled up to my lips and spilled out.

  “Do you remember the Ferris Wheel Marti?”

She looked up in surprise, and then forced her eyes back down. But I went on. “Do you remember how you begged me to get on and take a ride? Or this summer in the water, when you made me take off those ridiculous fins and swim like a big girl. Do you remember that?” I smiled, because it feels good to say the perfect words, and know they are just right.

  “Yeah I remember. And I remember that you wouldn’t go on it, and you wouldn’t go on the big roller coaster either. Because they’re scary. And I’d never ask you to again.” Her voice sounded bitter and contrary. It quivered, tight with tears. She swallowed them down and continued to stare stubbornly down at her hands. But my smile grew wider and I even let out a little laugh.

  “You can say that, but you’ll ask again. Marti,” I willed her to look at me, and when she did I saw the fear shining bright in her eyes. I grew serious. “And if I promise to go, will you go in and talk to that girl? Forgive her Marti, or you’ll never feel full again like you did before your mom died. That’s what you came for isn’t it?”

 She looked uncertain but nodded. “I know you can do it.” I said.

Marti sighed and replied, “Ok. I’ll do my best. But let’s not kid ourselves,” She slid out of the car and ducked her head back in to say wickedly, “There’s no way you’ll ever make it on that Ferris Wheel.” With a nervous laugh she walked back toward the house. Shelly Price opened the door and they stepped inside. I closed my eyes and prayed, feeling like a little girl watching the most magical moment in a Disney movie.

 

   That summer was magical too. After I gave my valedictorian speech in front of thousands of kids, with my best friend cheering me on, Marti and I had three glorious months to hang out and giggle like we always had. We filled them with water sand and adventure.

Marti was always different after her meeting with Shelly Price. Like I had predicted, she was fuller, more at peace with the world, although still a thrill seeker. Somehow she was even more reckless and free-spirited than before. I, although still the voice of caution during our escapades, also managed to rise up and conquer some of my fears. When we said goodbye at the end of August, I bound for Harvard and Marti off to Liberty University, there were many tears but mostly smiles. Our friendship faded in and out through the years, but friendships, like everything else in this upside-down world, change. A few years ago, during a reunion chat, Marti thanked me for what I did that Spring. She said that without me she would have never had the courage to face her greatest fear: forgiving the woman who’d cost her mother’s life. I thanked her too.

  After all, without my best friend Marti, I would never have faced any fears at all. But Marti was right: to this day not even she has been able to get me on the Ferris Wheel. I’m telling you, that thing is freaky.

                                                           

                                         THE END