May 19th 2013

 

Bet your window's rolled down and your hair's pulled back
And I bet you got no idea you're going way too fast
You're trying not to think about what went wrong
 You're trying not to stop 'til you get where you're goin'
You're trying to stay awake so I bet you turned on the radio
And the song'll go

I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby

 

 

 

What's wrong with you? You should be happier than you've ever been in your life! That nagging motherish voice in my head shouts at me. It's the ever present voice of reasonable realism that never shuts up.

 

Then why am I not? I reply. So hopelessly confused as the lights flash by, headlights glaring at me like prying eyes in the darkness. The left blinker clicks and I swing into the turn lane.

 

You know why. A third voice chimes in, deep and low. It's the whisper of a truth I'm ashamed to acknowledge.

 

 

Yeah, I bet you're bending God's ear talking 'bout me.
You're trying not to let the first tear fall out

You're trying not to get lost in the sound but that song is always on
So you sing along

I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby

 

 

I give up and break down, tears a salty river blurring through my eyes. I sing along, feeling the ache burn through my heart. Unexpectedly, I'm angry.

 

 

The highway won't dry your tears
The highway don't need you here
The highway don't care if you're coming home
But I do, I do

 

 

Then prove it.  If you really care about me at all then prove it to me. Fess up. Explain. Fix this. Only you can. Not me. I've waited. But I'm not going to wait forever. So go on. Show me you've got the courage to tell me the truth. Because if you don't, then I'm gone.