Why won't they do what they're supposed to?

Some stories become so real that you can't control them. I was so excited with my plot! It was going great. And then two of my characters decided to ruin it. Thanks a lot guys! They seem to have personalities and minds of their own and they keep disobeying me. Two of them decided that they were going to get along really well. I mean really well. Like they have this awesome chemistry. AND THAT WAS NOT THE PLAN. 

Now I have to fix this. Argh. Misbehaving characters are the worst and the best all at once. Anyways, I wrote like a gazillion pages on my script today so this is all for tonight. Goodnight! 

Sleeeeepy

Too tired
Can't think
Can't work
Can't talk

All I want is to slip away into dreamland
Have you ever been so tired that you couldn't sleep?
It hits you in a wave
And nothing feels real
Like this really random, weird poem that I'm writing at this very moment.

I'd appreciate it if you would forget you ever read this. Thanks. Happy Friday!

Interesting day....

Well ain't life interesting?

I'm still writing my script! Up to 25 pages so wish me luck!

Poem. It is kinda super randomly dark. Idk why, I had an awesome day! =D

Well, well
Now we come to it
The skeleton's tired of hiding in your closet
He's smiling for the world to see
You hide your face
You turn away
You slink into the depths of the world
But you cannot escape
You cannot outrun
He'll find you
Always

As long as the Secret to freedom eludes you
He'll be haunting at your side
So draw your map
And take up your torch
And let the Truth

Tell you what it may....

More randomness

OH dear! I was super close to not writing today! But I remembered just in time. I'm terribly sorry but I don't seem to have anything very interesting to say. I'm just sitting here chillin', drawing a self portrait and watching Psych. And its getting late and I'm soooooo tired. I am going to bed. Here's another random poem:


Oh my dear
Listen long and well and hear what's here to hear
Chances are you'll catch a drop of wisdom as it soars upon the wind
On wings of light and love and life and the beginning of the end
With your ears you may take in
But its there in your heart that beats within
You'll hear with your soul
And be free from all your sin

Poem Desperation before beddy bye :)

So.... I wrote 16 pages of a script today. Yeah I'm kind of done for the day. Plus, I still have to try to piece together a proof for algebra two. YAY! :D

K, so here is a random poem:


Blossoms pink
Grass growing green
The sun shines bright in my heart
Though the sky is gray
And at night I see starlight
Even when the rain is shining on the pavement

First Draft of Memoir

“Knee deep in the water somewhere

Got the blue sky breeze blowin’ wind through my hair

Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair…."

 

~Knee Deep, Zac Brown Band

 

I remember the first time I felt absolute, total, complete, unconstrained freedom.

It was the sweet heart of summertime, and the most gloriously beautiful four days that Cannon Beach has ever seen or ever will see as far as I’m concerned. We packed up the car and drove off into the rising sun with the windows down and the radio up, our smiles wide and our souls flying like sparrows released from a cage.

Fifteen had been a hard year for me. I imagine it’s tough for everyone as a freshie, but I wasn’t just a freshie. I was a completely naïve, totally sheltered, home-schooled-until-high-school freshie. I’d never been in school “like normal kids” before, and all year I’d felt myself torn between my new world and my old. I desperately wanted to belong to both, but when it was clear the old world no longer wanted me, I turned regretfully to the new. I liked my new life, but I missed the things I’d never had and always wanted. My new friends were something I wasn’t used to. For the first time the people around me seemed to genuinely care about me without my having to prove myself worthy. It wasn’t until August going into my sophomore year that I decided to throw away all the hurt and pain and lies that had been building up inside me over the past fourteen months, and choose to remember who I really was: not perfect, never going to be perfect, but accepted and forgiven by grace.

After cutting almost all ties with the people I’d so hopelessly wanted to be accepted by, I felt new. I was me, but a different me. A me ready to face the world with a hopeful heart and a carefree spirit.

The first step I took was setting out to leave my worries and troubles behind me. My sister and my friend and I went on a getaway to my happiest place on earth: Cannon Beach.As we drove into the little shore town and the blue waves became visible over the crest of the last hill, my summer song crooned across the radio, carrying a message of simple contentment and total freedom.

Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair....

Those four blissful days were some of the happiest of my life. For me there will always be something magical about the ocean. Its power allures me, its beauty thrills me, and its Maker amazes me. I remember dancing on the sand with the salty sea wind whipping through my hair and the sound of my friend and sister’s laughter ringing loud and clear. They were laughing at me, my sister and Rachel, and I laughed with them. I didn’t mind.

Because I was free.

These few years later I’ve realized something about the four days in August. They weren’t my first days of freedom because I was away from home without my parents with the ability to eat pizza for every meal, sleep until two, go star tripping and sit staring at the sea for hours on end. They were my first days of freedom because for the first time in my life I knew who I was and I knew it was my choice to become that person. I believed for myself, not because anyone told me to, or because it was just what I’d always done and accepted as the truth. My soul was alive again after being lost and dead.

And when I remember those days I think to myself....

 

 

 

I think I might have found me my own kind of paradise.