To My Ethel, Love Lucy

What is a friend?

I have a friend. She was there the day I was born. She was there on my worst day. And she was there yesterday.
 And I know for certain that she'll be there for me tomorrow. I will never stop loving her and she will never stop loving me. Our first fight, which was once so bitter, is a joke to us now, though there are times when we still irk one another. Together we laugh, together we rage at the world, and even on occasion, together we cry. But on very special days, after we've laughed and raged and maybe cried, when the world is sleeping and the stars shine in the sky, we will whisper our dreams across a pillow of friendship.

  A secret is a precious sign of trust. She knows I can keep them when she tells me to. And I know I can trust her to keep my secrets locked away in that special part of her heart.

Some days we drift away, but always there's the strong tie of life-long friendship to pull us back together, and I know I can count on her for anything. Always, she's there with a smile, a kind word or an encouragement. Some days I'll hear a knock on the door, and there she'll be, with our favorite movie in one hand and a chocolate smoothie in the other.

 She's the only one who could convince me to jump in an icy pool at 9 o'clock at night.

 She's the only one I watch sappy movies with, screaming and crying and sighing.
 
 She's the only one I tell all my funniest moments to, although usually she shares them.

She is the Ethel to my Lucy, the Betty to my Veronica.

 I have a friend. She was there the day I was born. She was there on my worst day. And she was there yesterday.  And I know for certain that she'll be there for me tomorrow.



Genesis 29:17 "Rachel was....beautiful."

Beautiful inside and out. I love you.

The Sky's the Limit?

   Have you ever asked yourself what you would do if money was no object? I'm not talking about giving to charity or handing out money to random strangers or investing in real estate, or buying a thousand new tops and bracelets or neck ties or BMW's or whatever.
 What would you do for you?

A friend asked me this today as I was complaining about my writer's block.

What would I do, if I could do anything?

I thought and thought. And then I realized something. Money just doesn't matter much when it comes to my dreams. So often we get caught up in, "If I only had enough money I could do/buy/go..."

When I thought about this question, I remembered a dream I've had for years. Its a silly dream, so don't laugh:

I've always wanted to put on a flowy white dress and ride a horse on a deserted beach as the sun sets on the water.

Silly, I know. Girly too, but after all, look at my blog. Its pink, and about as girly as it gets. I'm a girly-girl and a hopeless romantic. Granted, it would cost a bit to do this: The dress alone would be expensive, and then there's the horse. And the beach. But really, compared to some things, it wouldn't take that much, and to me it would be worth it.
  To feel the salt-breeze blowing on my skin, the soft mane whipping in my face. Then the sand beneath me, the water splashing around, and the pink and orange glow of the setting sun.

I think about my dream and realize that there are many things I would like to do that might seem silly to others. But sometimes the silly moments in life are the ones that mean the most.

Coffee and the Future

As I sit here blowing my nose vigorously and craving coffee, I contemplate the future.

Will I make it to school tomorrow, or will this stuffy nose stop me?

How am I ever going to understand this algebra homework?

What was the history assignment?

And most of all, what in the world can I write about in my blog besides homework, stuffy noses and coffee?

I have found little to say over the past few days. Strange, because my mind has been racing. Maybe my thoughts are flying too fast for my fingers to catch up, or maybe I'm trying too hard to "think" of something to say. This past week and a half have been a crazy, twisted mixture of stress, fun, excitement, exhaustion, frozen yogurt, lack of sleep, pinks scarves, confusion, and the bizarre feeling that this world doesn't actually exist.

For so long my identity has been wrapped up in a whirl of dreams and problems, people and drama that no longer really matters to me. I can't help but feel unreal as I try to sort out the future. Who I was yesterday is not who I am today.

The things that have seemed so important, so hard, so full of romantic tragedy concocted by my silly little girlish brain, trying so hard to be grown up, are suddenly just that: silly.

Why did I care so much about this? I ask.

More importantly, where do I go from here? There is a whole world of endless possibilities waiting for me behind a door, and I can't seem to find the key. It’s here somewhere, hidden in my soul. I search, and sometimes answers come; sometimes answers that even seem miraculous.

Who will I choose to be?

Who do You want me to be?

That girl tomorrow may even be different from the one who sits snuggled under my favorite zebra-stripe blankie writing these words. I don't know her yet, but I will soon.

And in the mean time, that algebra homework is still waiting for me.

Every Day I Ask Myself....

Days come and days go and life passes by.

And every day that comes and goes I wonder, "Who am I?"

Shadows fall and sunlight glows and darkness reigns again.

And with the rising sun I ask, "Who am I now, that I wasn't then?"

The day wears on and I do my best to be a light in someone's world.

And as the evening twilight draws, I ask, "Am I truly that girl?"

As the day's events begin to fade, I look into the mirror.

My eyes meet hers and I whisper soft, "Is it really me in there?"

This world so often seems alone, in its grandure we forget,

Another world far better waits, we just can't go there yet.

With each morning, with each night, I ponder in my mind,

"How will I shine my light and be a servant to mankind?"

As I see faces, familiar, strange and new,

I ask myself this question, "No longer, who am I, but more important, who are you?"

As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks fade into years,

I ask myself this question now, "Have I served others or my fears?"

As I try to seek them out, the small, the strong, the old, the young,

I learn different ways of seeking. Some boldly stand apart, others walk among.

And with every year gone by, on every snowy New Year's Eve,

I ask myself this question:

 

"Heaven or the world, which one shall I strive to please?"

Opposites

The more you take from life, the more you crave.
The more you give to others, the more satisfied you are.

Lying builds guilt, until fear is a constant companion.
Truth may hurt for a while, but in the end it sets you free.

Hate serves only to destroy.
Love
    Never
        Fails.


"Seek first His kingdom and His rightousness
and all these things will be given to you as well."
 
                               -Matthew 6:33

IMAGINATION

Iventions that never existed before, and some that never will exist
Magic
 Anyone in the world
Growing up faster than reality lets you
Inspire others and yourself
  New places and faces
 A door to an endless world of possibilities
Thousands of ways to change the world
Inside and outside and inside out
 One adventure after another
No limitations

 

Imagination...

Freedom

Finally free.

Finally through.

I’ve found at last that I don’t need you.

My God is my savior, and His love is enough.

Your approval can’t tell me what I’m worth.

I tricked myself to believe,

That you truly cared about me.

And now I know. I know the truth.

And the truth has set me free.